Sex Ed
by Noniechan
Summary: [COMPLETE] Kakashi uses unorthidox methods when it comes to teaching. Yaoi. KakaIru.
1. Sex Ed, Iruka Style!

Disclaimer- Don't own, don't sue. :)

Alright! My first KakaIru! And I honestly think it's a PWP. Can I ever write a plot? Doubt it. How about a good ending? Nope. I had intended this to become a lemon. Honest. But with ff . net taking crack these days I'm really hesitant to post one. That's why the ending is just...blah. But there'll be one in my next story. Promise.

This was inspired by a lack of KakaIru on ff . net. Is it just me or do I keep stumbling upon the same old stories? Though you should all go read Suke-san's "Love is the Strongest Energy." That story is my strongest energy for inspiration!

Oh, and Naruto peeing has absolutely nothing to do with the story. Really.

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Uzumaki Naruto had to pee.

The seven-and-a-half bowls of ramen he had continually consumed for the past ten minutes followed by the five glasses of milk he'd used to wash it all down with was finally catching up to him.

He ran through the streets of Konoha, narrowly avoiding pedestrians who were blissfully unaware of the turmoil his bladder was putting him through, all the while grabbing the crotch of his pants and holding it tight. As if that would prevent leakage.

Naruto skidded to a halt outside of his apartment building, roughly opening the door and letting it slam loudly behind him as he dashed up the stairs. Upon reaching his home, Naruto danced from toe to toe, searching desperately for the key that would lead to relief.

He found it and slammed through his door, not bothering to close it, making a beeline for the bathroom. Seconds passed before an audible sigh was heard followed by the flushing of a toilet and the running of water.

Naruto exited the bathroom feeling much better, and lighter, and decided another trip outdoors was in order. He wiped his wet hands off on his orange pants, closed the door behind him and was off.

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In another section of Konoha, a silver-haired jounin who had a sharingan in his left eye and insisted on reading little orange books and having little dirty thoughts was doing exactly that.

Perched on his roof and finding the morning breeze quite refreshing, Kakashi closed Icha-Icha Paradise. He stood still, his head bowed, savoring the perverted voyage his mind had just gotten through taking. Kissing the orange book that had led him to have so many wonderful dreams, Kakashi stood and stretched, pocketing it.

He really should find another place to read, Kakashi mused. The view was great, the breeze was nice, and the sunshine made the whole scene come together, but it hurt to hunch over so much and public fondling really wasn't something he was into--at least not with himself. So why, exactly, had he picked this spot again? Kakashi scratched his head in thought.

Looking below, he found his answer. Kakashi smiled, his right eye arching happily as he watched Iruka walk by, heading toward the Hokage's chambers. The chuunin had one hand stuffed into his pocket, the other was holding an envelope probably full of school papers he'd spent half the night grading, and he was whistling a nameless tune.

Kakashi would have squealed in delight if he had been anyone but himself. He watched from his perch as Iruka walked out of site before heading back inside for a little self-indulgence. Masturbation seemed so much nicer after seeing a certain pony-tailed school teacher.

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Iruka sneezed.

Taking a deep breath and squaring his shoulders, the chuunin sensei opened the door, a smile automatically gracing his features. Sandaime looked up from his work and returned his smile, gesturing for him to sit down. Iruka kindly declined.

"This will only take a minute, Hokage-sama."

The old man frowned. Was it just him or did Iruka look nervous? Sandaime clasped his hands together in front of him and peered closely at the school teacher. "Everything alright, Iruka?"

Iruka opened his mouth before closing it, looking flustered and uncomfortable. The third Hokage raised an eyebrow, resting his chin on the back of his hands. Iruka gulped, deciding there was no other way to say it. "Hokage-sama?"

"Yes?"

"If I may...um. Well...why did you assign me this particular class?" Iruka questioned, handing Sandaime the folder in his hand containing his schedule for today's classes. Skimming over the papers and coming across the class that had caused his favorite chuunin so much discomfort, Sandaime resisted the urge to chuckle and instead turned it into a cough.

"Is something wrong with this assignment?" Iruka looked down at the ground, feeling flustered and uncomfortable. He nervously twiddled his thumbs, frowning. "Well Hokage-sama. Can't you...I mean, I'm sure there are much more...qualified teachers for that...particular class."

Keeping his amusement in check, Sandaime rested his chin on his hands and gave Iruka a serious look. "I picked you, Iruka-sensei, because I value your work and place great trust in you. Are you inquiring that I'm wrong in my judgment?"

Thoroughly startled, Iruka's eyes went wide and he took a step back from the Hokage's desk. "Of course n-not, Hokage-sama! I was merely saying...um....it's just..." Finding no way out of the situation, Iruka took the folder back from Sandaime. He bowed deeply, still flustered. "I'm sorry, Hokage-sama."

"It's quite alright, Iruka. Now you'd better get going. That class of yours starts soon." Iruka's face turned bright red and he stuttered out a hasty goodbye. When the door closed behind him, Sandaime let out a healthy laugh, his body shaking. When his laugh ended and he realized all the paper work still littering his desk hadn't disappeared, he frowned.

Sometimes being Hokage sucked.

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Three hours later found Iruka in the most embarrassing situation of his entire life.

After he had left the Hokage's office, he had gone immediately to his room to prepare. Anko had come in to tease him though she had helped him run over his information and get things into proper order. At two in the afternoon his students had found their way to their seats and class had begun.

"Now ah...this, class, is a...um..."

"Penis, Iruka-sensei!"

Brandishing his pointing stick and resisting the urge to shove it into his eye, Iruka smiled stiffly.

"Thank you, Kakashi-sensei."

Smiling brightly, the jounin in charge of Team Seven nodded and told Iruka it was really nothing because every guy had one and it wasn't anything to be embarrassed about, which caused the chuunin teacher to blush. Iruka shot a glare in Anko's direction, huffing silently. If he had known she was going to announce in the teacher's lounge that it was Iruka's turn this year to give the 'Sex Ed.' class he wouldn't of asked for her help in the first place.

Despite that, he hadn't really expected anyone outside of his current class to sit in, though it was open to all, but apparently he'd thought wrong. There were a handful of chuunin and jounin teachers, and a few who weren't, currently littering the back of his room. Iruka went back to teaching the class, pointing out appropriate areas when he said their names, all the while cursing each and everyone of them mentally.

They had all come to watch him suffer!

"And can anyone tell me what this is?" Iruka asked his class when he noticed the blushing faces. A part of Iruka felt great sympathy for them. He had remembered sitting in class and going through the same lecture and wondering if his face would ever go back to its normal color.

"Anyone?"

"Oh! Ohh! I know, Iruka-sensei! I know!"

Iruka felt his eye begin to twitch and he tried not to grit his teeth. Instead, he put on his most polite smile, which was actually quite scary. "Yes, Kakashi-sensei?"

Said shinobi was squirming in his seat and waving his arm in the air rapidly, smiling brightly when he was finally acknowledged. "That's a vagina!"

"That's correct, Kakashi-sensei."

His right eye turning upward, Kakashi mentally flashed a victory sign when he noticed the red on the chuunin teacher's cheeks. When he had heard Anko announce to everyone that the adorable blushing chuunin known as Iruka was giving the 'talk' to all of his students today at two and that anyone was invited to come if they wanted, Kakashi had immediately called off training today with his team.

And he wasn't the only one. Sitting in between Asuma and Kurenai with Gai, Genma, Hayate and Anko close by, Kakashi grinned. When class had began and he had seen just how flustered Iruka would get when describing certain areas of the body, he had made it his personal goal to help him. So every time Iruka would stutter or hesitate, Kakashi was there with some comment that made the chuunin's cheeks turn red.

And now the class was ending and Iruka was saying goodbye to his students. Standing up and preparing to make his leave, he caught Iruka's eye.

"Kakashi-sensei, I wonder if I could have a word with you?"

Uh oh. There was that smile again, and along with it came the 'angry-lecture' voice. Kakashi put on his most innocent-looking face. "Whatever for, Iruka-sensei?"

The angry flush that made it's way across Iruka's face said it all. Next to him, Kurenai snickered. Kakashi made his way toward Iruka.

"I must say you did a wonderful job, fair Iruka!" Taking Iruka's hands in his, Gai tossed his head back, teeth flashing. "You looked so noble and modest standing up there in front of the youth, bursting with energy! And the way your cheeks would color was most beautiful!"

Blushing at that statement and looking at the ground, Iruka smiled and thanked him for coming. After Gai did his 'Nice-Guy' pose and left in a whirlwind of smoke and leaves, Kakashi smiled teasingly. "You called, fair Iruka?"

Iruka spun on his heel, eyes flashing, and he brandished the pointing stick like a sword. The jounin instinctively took a step back. Iruka planted a hand on his hip and glared. He opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Genma and Hayate saying their goodbyes. Ever polite, Iruka smiled and waved goodbye the them, then to Anko when she popped over and gave the chuunin a thumbs up.

Asuma nodded before he left while Kurenai decided to drape her arms across Iruka's shoulders and tell him just what a good job he did. Eyes wide and face the color of a cherry, Iruka stuttered a "t-t-thank y-you...". Winking at a glaring Kakashi and silently having at party at their reactions, Kurenai left.

"Just what did you think you were doing?" Iruka demanded when he'd finally gotten his embarrassment in check and he took a step towards Kakashi, fire in his eyes. What had the jounin been thinking when he'd joined his class today? Embarrassing him like that in front of his students and fellow teachers! Iruka tapped his foot impatiently. "Well?"

Kakashi smiled sheepishly. He raised a gloved hand and rubbed the back of his neck. How was he to answer? Because you're cute when you blush and get all flustered? Because when I say something to you I know I have your full attention? Because every time you get that look in your eye I want to touch you? Kakashi didn't think Iruka would appreciate any of those answers. So he decided to go with the intelligent approach.

"Uh..."

"You really embarrassed me today, Kakashi-sensei, and you're not leaving here until I get a straight answer from you!" Kakashi raised an eyebrow as Iruka crossed his arms. Interesting. Who'd of known the docile teacher could be so demanding? It was an incredible turn-on. Kakashi mentally berated himself. If he was going to get out of here in Iruka's good graces he'd better think of something fast. He sighed deeply, meeting Iruka's eyes. "I'm sorry, Iruka."

Said chuunin blinked, not quite expecting that, as his arms fell to his sides. Had Kakashi just...apologized? To him? Sure, he had wanted an apology, followed by an explanation, but he honestly hadn't expected one. Feeling his anger ebb and embarrassment take over, his face burned. "I-It's alright, Kakashi-sensei."

Seeing the blush, Kakashi couldn't help but reach out and place a hand on Iruka's shoulder, the other one resting against his cheek, causing the teacher to jump. Iruka looked up at the jounin with wide eyes. His cheeks turned red when he took a step closer.

"Iruka..."

It was murmured, whispered, and it made Iruka extremely uncomfortable.

"N-no harm done, K-Kakashi-sensei."

Iruka laughed nervously, awkwardly taking a step back. Kakashi followed. Didn't the man know about personal space? Iruka gulped.

Meanwhile, Kakashi was silently patting himself on the back. Finally he was on the offensive! He took another step forward when the adorable chuunin kept scooting back. Iruka jumped when his lower back bumped into his desk.

"Um...Kakashi-sensei?"

"Hmmm?" He asked, leaning in close and causing Iruka to bend over the desk backwards. Iruka's hands immediately shot out to hold himself up. Kakashi continued to caress Iruka's cheek with his thumb, brushing it over his lips and grinning as the chuunin teacher's face turned the color of a tomato. And did the man just squeak? It was all too much fun. And he really was too cute.

"W-what are you--" Warm lips encased in black cloth effectively silenced Iruka, making him freeze on the spot and giving Kakashi time to lean in closer and wrap his arms around his waist. He picked the startled chuunin up and set him on the desk, taking full advantage as he gasped. When Iruka felt the brush of tongue against tongue he began to shake.

When had the jounin taken off his mask?!

Kakashi grinned when he felt Iruka's tongue shyly seek his out, and when hesitant arms wrapped around his neck he felt like celebrating. While situating himself in between Iruka's legs, the chuunin broke the kiss, gasping for air. Deciding he liked the way Iruka looked right now--cheeks red and flushed, eyes dilated and hazy, body panting heavily-- Kakashi leaned in for another one, and Iruka leaned in to meet him, much to his delight.

This one was slow, more of a brushing of lips, a slow massage of flesh that had Kakashi pressing closer and Iruka moaning. Kakashi was the one to end it this time, turning his head to the side and swiping a tongue over Iruka's cheek. He nibbled on his earlobe, smirking at the delicious noises the teacher was making.

"Iruka."

Said chuunin whimpered as hot breath ghosted across his ear, making him shiver and cling tighter. Kakashi chuckled, trailing his lips down his neck and to the collar of his shirt. "Iruka."

"Huh...?" Iruka blinked, dazed, as Kakashi pulled aside his collar and began to suck on the junction between his shoulder and neck. What could the man possibly want at a time like this? He shook his head lightly in an attempt to clear his mind. It didn't work. How could it when he had an incredibly sexy ninja sucking on his neck and rubbing his hands all over his body? Iruka sighed as pleasure washed over him before gasping out in pain and pushing Kakashi away.

"Ow! You bit me?!"

Iruka grabbed his neck, incredulous, frowning when Kakashi chuckled. "You weren't listening." Iruka pouted.

"I said, we should take this somewhere else." Kakashi continued to kiss and lick his way up Iruka's jaw line, and he smiled when comprehension dawned in the teacher's eyes. Of course Iruka blushed, which had the jounin grinning around the piece of flesh he was currently nibbling on. "Ah...o-okay..."

In a cloud of smoke they were gone, reappearing in Kakashi's bedroom, on Kakashi's bed, the jounin on top of the chuunin. The pony-tailed man, obviously realizing just what they were about to do, buried his face in his hands, his cheeks on fire.

"Aww...don't tell me you're getting all shy now? Class has just started." Kakashi grinned, putting his arms on either side of Iruka's head and straddling him. Iruka blushed, still embarrassed, and turned his head to the side. The jounin smirked, pulling his mask down before going back to work on Iruka's neck. The chuunin gasped as Kakashi slipped a gloved hand underneath his shirt. "K-Kakashi-sensei..!!"

Said shinobi continued to lick and suck at the tan skin exposed to him, running cold fingers over Iruka's smooth stomach muscle. Iruka choked when he felt his shirt being pulled up and Kakashi's mouth move from his neck to his chest. He moaned when Kakashi's tongue found a nipple and the jounin chuckled. "This, Iruka-sensei, is a nipple."

Iruka glared indignantly, bonking Kakashi upside his head before blushing. "Now now...no need to get violent! The lesson isn't over yet," The silver-haired ninja purred, pinning Iruka's wrists above his head before continuing his exploration of his chest. "H-Hey!" Iruka cried, but it turned into a moan as Kakashi's free hand began to move lower. Kakashi smirked, tracing a finger over the rim of the chuunin's pants before diving under. Iruka whimpered.

"Well now...what have we here?" Kakashi leaned up and kissed Iruka, squeezing his arousal and causing the chuunin the throw his head back. "Don't tell me I have to tell you what this is, too, Iruka-sensei." Iruka moaned, arching into Kakashi's hand. The jounin grinned, kissing Iruka again and muffling his sounds as he continued to touch him.

He spent the next 20 minutes giving Iruka his 'lesson.' When it was over with, Kakashi smiled brightly at Iruka as the chuunin stared blankly at the ceiling, catching his breath.

"You know..." Iruka began, snuggling into Kakashi's chest when said jounin pulled the blanket around them. Iruka smiled as he tangled his legs with Kakashi's.

"...despite what Naruto says, you're not that bad of a teacher." Kakashi laughed before rubbing his nose in Iruka's hair and inhaling.

"You know what we do now?" Kakashi asked, purring into Iruka's ear. He held back the grin that wished to be made known when Iruka glared up at him. "But we just--"

"I ment sleep." Kakashi countered, pulling Iruka closer. "But, if you're still up for mo---"

Kakashi hit the floor with a dull thud, Iruka leaning over the side and glaring daggers at him. The silver-haired man couldn't stop the laugh this time, climbing back on the bed and cuddling close again. "I was just joking."

"Maybe Naruto was right..." Iruka said stubbornly, breathing the the scent that was purely Kakashi before drifting off to sleep, the jounin's soft laughter ringing in his ears.

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...Told you the ending sucked. I tried.

Naruto- Uso!

...sou ka....


	2. Sex Ed, Kakashi Style!

Because my computer totally sucks **ASS **(as in, every time I turned it on it made a 'beeeeeeeeeeeeep' sound), it took me a lot longer to update this than I had planned. And I still don't like it. At all. I'm really sorry ::bows:: But at least this story is finished.

Or is it? ::laughs::

My brother gave me the interesting idea of having another cell team leader give a sex ed talk. It really sounds amusing so I think I may. Anyways, I'd like to thank everyone for their reviews/encouragement :D

**Isolde1**(I love 'Tired'!!!), **Ice heart **(Wee! Thank you!!), **chibified mistunes **(well thank you for reading mine!!! :D), **polka dot **(Lol. Let's pretend then, hm?), **Yumeko **(lmao…FAN SERVICE XD), **Korei47 **(::glomps:: ), **Kin Uchiha **(always after those lemon, hm?? Lol you perv.) **Nanashi2 **(::blush:: too kind!), **Yuen-chan **(XD!!), **HatoriLover **(Lmao! Yes, you spelt it right :P), **Misori Chan **(Yay! Thanks, Miso-chan!), **anime-wuver-016 **(Blushing Iruka RULES!!), **candy swirl **(Yes!!! Someone likes Naruto's potty break ::hands you cookie:: )

Thank you all so much!!!!!! I know it's been a while since I started this fic and I'm sorry it's taken me so long. Thank you for hanging around :D

And now it's time for the final installment (maybe) of….

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_**Sex Ed--Kakashi Style!**_

It was a day like any other day.

The sun had just about reached its peak as it was nearing noon, Sakura had been batting eyes at an uninterested Sasuke for the past four and a half hours with no reaction whatsoever, Sasuke in turn had been trying to catch an oblivious Naruto's eye for the past two hours but with no such luck, and Naruto was trying to decide which was better for lunch--miso flavored ramen or pork flavored ramen.

He hadn't decided yet.

So yeah, it was a day like any other day. Even when Kakashi arrived an hour later everything seemed normal, except for the reluctant chuunin he was dragging behind him. Kakashi smiled and waved a greeting at his team as Sakura and Naruto voiced their disproval of his lateness loudly.

"You're LATE!!!"

"Aa…I was fishing and I caught a dolphin."

"LIAR!!!" Naruto and Sakura yelled, pointing a menacing finger at him and not noticing a flustered Iruka standing behind their teacher. Kakashi's right eye arched happily as his team settled back down again (well, Sakura and Naruto. Sasuke didn't really do anything…).

"Now that everyone's here, it seems like we can start today's mission." Naruto's eyes went wide, excited at the prospect of doing something dangerous. As always, his mind immediately supplied him with images of shoguns in trouble and photographers being chased by evil yakuza(1). He imagined large castles that stored scrolls and scrolls of jutsu techniques being guarded by terrorizing ninja that were the strongest in the land. And he imagined himself beating them all, stomping a foot atop their defeated bodies and smiling proudly as Sasuke finally admitted that yes, Naruto was stronger than him.

Naruto jumped up, pumping his fist in the air wildly.

"What's our mission, Kakashi-sensei?!" Naruto yelled, energized at the prospect of hearing Sasuke say he was better. He paused as he finally noticed the pony-tailed sensei.

"Oi! Iruka-sensei!!! What're you doing here?!?!" Naruto exclaimed, running forward and hugging Iruka tightly. The older man laughed, ruffling Naruto's hair and offering a bright smile and greeting for a waving Sakura and Sasuke. When Naruto finally released Iruka, he glanced at Kakashi. "Sensei. Is Iruka-sensei coming along with us on our mission?"

"Something like that." Kakashi said mysteriously, causing his cell team to give him confused looks. Iruka smiled.

"Actually, Sandaime-sama sent me here."

"Really? The old goat??" The blond boy asked, receiving a scolding from Iruka at his disrespect for the Hokage. Sasuke resisted the urge to smile as Sakura raised her hand. "What does Hokage-sama want, Iruka-sensei?"

"Well, he didn't really specify," The chuunin said, smiling crookedly at cell team seven and rubbing the scar across his nose, quite embarrassed. "He just told me Kakashi-sensei would inform me."

Four sets of eyes looked expectantly at the silver-haired jounin who was currently nose-deep in a certain orange-bound book. Iruka clicked his tongue disapprovingly but said nothing more as Sakura and Naruto whined and complained about their perverted teacher.

Sasuke was still trying to catch Naruto's eye.

Kakashi looked up, snapping his book closed and pocketing it before his students decided to get violent. Not to mention Iruka. That man had a pretty hard right hook when the time called for it…

"Sou ka."

Four sets of eyes blinked.

"Sou ka…?"

"Iruka-sensei is going to help me." Kakashi interrupted, slinging an arm across Iruka's shoulders, pulling him close and causing the chuunin to blush. He quickly hid the grin before Iruka could see it, schooling his features to appear bored.

"Help you with what?" Sasuke asked, deciding he'd been silent long enough(2) and getting irritated at the way his teacher danced around the subject. Sakura felt her cheeks pink at the sound of Sasuke's voice and Naruto looked over at his dark-haired teammate. Geeze. He finally caught the blond's eye and now everyone had to be looking at him, too. Sasuke cursed his luck and wished he'd remained silent.

"Well, Iruka-sensei is quite good at public speaking so I figured he'd be perfect." Kakashi squeezed Iruka's shoulder, causing the chocolate-haired man to squeak quietly, reminding Kakashi of a certain set of bedsprings that had done some squeaking earlier this morning. He pulled his mind from the gutter long enough to notice the glares his three students were sending him.

"Perfect for what?!?" Sakura and Naruto shouted, exasperated beyond belief.

"Why for helping me give the mandatory Sex Education speech, of course!" Kakashi smiled brightly as Sakura, Naruto, and Sasuke's eyes all went wide, and even as all of the color drained from Iruka's face. The chuunin fell backwards, unconscious.

"Iruka-sensei!!!"

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"Mou, Kakashi-sensei! Look what you did! You killed him!" Naruto frowned, shooting a glare at his silver-haired teacher as he shook Iruka's shoulders harshly.

"He's not waking up."

"Wah! Please don't die, Iruka-sensei!!!" Naruto yelled, tears streaming down his cheeks at the thought of losing his favorite teacher and all the free ramen that the pony-tailed chuunin bought him. Naruto felt his lower lip begin to quiver. Sasuke, sighing heavily but mentally melting at how adorable Naruto could look when he was upset, gestured to Kakashi.

"Do you have any smelling salts?(3)" Kakashi said no.

"But there's a river near by. Go get some water." Kakashi instructed, Sakura and Sasuke (who was dragging a struggling Naruto who kept shooting Iruka's body tearful glances and shaking a threatening fist at his silver-haired sensei) trudging towards the water source, grumbling all the way.

Once alone, Kakashi couldn't hold back the evil look that crossed his face.

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Cell team seven probably wasn't the only one who heard the piercing scream that broke through the air as soon as they reached the water's edge.

Eyes going wide, Naruto scooped up a handful of water between his cupped hands and ran back to where his two teachers were. Sasuke followed, forgetting about Sakura who sighed heavily and leaned down to fill up her water jug.

And just when she was hoping to spend some quality time with Sasuke, too.

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It had taken some time for Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura to get back to their teachers, as it appeared an elaborate genjutsu had been set up while they were away. When they had finally found a way around it, Sakura had immediately scolded her teacher at how rude it was for him to do that to them. Kakashi had laughed it off.

Naruto realized that the water in his hands had disappeared and he frowned.

"I had to get ready." He had said, and then gestured them to follow him to a small patch of trees. He smiled at their shocked expressions.

"What did you do to Iruka-sensei?!?"

And Naruto had every right to yell.

Umino Iruka was currently tied to a large tree, his arms bound to his sides by thick strong rope. He was also currently missing his flak vest and shirt, not to mention his pants. The only actual piece of clothing the chuunin teacher was wearing were a pair of dark blue boxers and the bandages that were wrapped around his ankles and calves. And he looked pissed.

Naruto made a strangled noise, running forward to release his favorite teacher but Kakashi stopped him.

"It looks like we're ready to begin. Now, if you'll all sit down." Kakashi said, pulling out a stick and smiling oddly at his students. Sakura felt the beginnings of a full-blown blush as she stared at her former teacher, taking in his toned body and imagining Sasuke in the same position. She couldn't stop the squeal that made it's way past her lips. Naruto felt so bad for his teacher and mentally promised Iruka he'd get him free as soon as the opportunity presented itself. Sasuke sighed heavily, knowing something perverted was about to happen and feeling bad for Iruka.

But it was better him than Sasuke.

"Now, as you're all over-due for this talk, and Iruka-sensei has so graciously decided to assist me," At this point, Iruka began muttering dark curses under his breath at Kakashi, " you should all pay attention closely."

When Kakashi smiled brightly, cell team seven looked wearily at their current sensei, a sense of dread washing over them.

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It had only been thirty minutes and Sasuke had never felt so sorry for anyone in all of his life.

Well, except for maybe his clan.

But that was different.

Damn Itachi.

Sasuke glowered at the memory but pushed it aside when Naruto next to him asked another embarrassing question. Sakura covered her cheeks on his other side and told Naruto how inappropriate that was.

"But Kakashi-sensei brought it up!" Naruto pointed out, barely managing to dodge the punch that Sakura aimed at his head. Sasuke sighed.

"Don't you think that was inappropriate, Sasuke-kun?" Sakura questioned, turning worshipful eyes to Sasuke. He ignored her, shooting his teacher a death-look and silently asking him how much longer this would take.

Kakashi had started out by pointing at random parts of Iruka's body, then naming it off and making them repeat it. That hadn't been so bad, until Kakashi had reached Iruka's groin area. It seemed he had gotten stuck in that section, and had pointed and prodded every part he could with his stick while Iruka screamed and hollered with a red-face.

And then came the 'positions'.

"…So you see, Military Style can be more creative with the use of toys."

Oh. My. God.

Sasuke suddenly wished Itachi hadn't left him alive.

"Does anyone have any questions?" Immediately Naruto's hand shot up and Sasuke heard Sakura whine under her breath. Perhaps the only good thing that had come out of this whole crazy ordeal was that Naruto actually had sex on his mind. Now if only Sasuke could--

"Can you pee while you're having sex?(4)"

Everyone blinked in surprise as Sasuke fell backwards, throwing his hands in the air and muttering something like "That's it! I give up!". Iruka was trying to gnaw his was through the ropes.

"That's an excellent question, Naruto!" The blond boy glowed with the praise.

"Hm, what do you think, Iruka-sensei?" With a few choice words, Iruka told him exactly what he thought. Naruto's eyes widened. Iruka-sensei had such an extensive vocabulary! Kakashi turned back to Naruto and smiled.

"How about a demonstration?" Kakashi leaned forward and tried to grab Iruka, the chuunin's eyes going wide. Iruka braced his back and hands on the tree solidly before lifting his legs and using his feet to keep Kakashi at bay.

"Don't even think about it!!!" The pony-tailed man roared, not quite wanting to believe Kakashi would be so perverted as to do something like that in front of other people. Sakura and Sasuke had gone deathly quite, their eyes dilated. Suddenly, Sakura let out a high-pitched squeal as her face turned dark red and she jumped up, yelling a quick goodbye and running home, wonderful images dancing through her head. Sasuke just swallowed before he leaned over and grabbed the back of a confused Naruto's coat and pulled him along.

He had some nice images of his own.

Kakashi finally managed to get a good grip on Iruka's legs and he pulled them apart, situating himself snug against Iruka's groin. The dark-skinned shinobi turned pink.

"K-Kakashi-sensei!! What about the…" Iruka trailed off as he realized that cell team seven was nowhere to be seen. Ah! They'd abandoned him! Just like back at the academy!!

Iruka mentally sobbed and cried, damning their lineage for all eternity.

"Aw, it looks like it'll be another private lesson, Iruka-sensei." Kakashi purred, running a finger over tan chest muscles. Iruka 'Eep!'-ed, looking around frantically for a means of escape.

He found none.

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"Ka-Kakashi-sensei!"

From behind a nearby tree, Sandaime felt the beginnings of a nosebleed coming on. He spared a glance over his shoulder and almost lost it.

About twenty feet away, still bound to a tree by strong rope, Iruka was currently being filled full of Kakashi. The scarred chuunin's hair fell unbound around his face as he tossed his head in all directions, his thighs pushed up to his chest as Kakashi thrust in and out of him, making the shinobi cry out in ecstasy.

"Uh!! Harder, Kakashi-sensei…!!!"

I didn't think he'd use him for that! The third Hokage thought, holding his nose to prevent blood from staining his robes and heading back towards his office. When Kakashi had appeared in his office that morning and requested the chuunin's help, Sandaime had been weary. Besides, he'd already set aside a nice big pile of paperwork for Iruka to do. But Kakashi had been insistent, and in the end, he'd won.

Sarutobi swore he'd never play jenken(5) with Hatake Kakashi again.

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Later that night, Naruto learned that no, you can't pee while you're having sex.

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-photographers being chased by evil yakuza(1)---I've been reading too much Viewfinder lately ::laughs::

--Sasuke asked, deciding he'd been silent long enough(2)---I actually forgot about him! I had to go back through the beginning and add him. Whoops.

--"Do you have any smelling salts?(3)"---My friend Cody always carries smelling salts. No clue why.

--"Can you pee while you're having sex?(4)"---Kind of embarrassing, but for the longest time I thought that if you got too excited during sex, you'd pee. ::embarrassed laugh:: My friends don't let me live that down.

--Sarutobi swore he'd never play jenken(5)---I just beat my brother in a game of jenken so I had to add it. :P

So! It appears I'm done (if I decide to disregard my Author's Notes at the top)!!! Yay. This was nice, writing a KakaIru. I love them. And I'm really thankful for people who liked this story. I'm sorry this isn't written so well…it's just blah. I have too many people who want to do things with me and not enough time ::popular:: I wish. ::laughs::


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